27 December 2021

As one born in the brighter days of the year, for me, the late spring, is very much my time. I thrive on the bright early dawns and watching the regrowth in the garden. Nothing better than the sense of optimism in the air. But, must admit, I am actually terrified of the dark days of the late autumn and winter. Therefore, the forced effort of challenging the sheer lack of light induced activity, really tires me out. This is a recognized phenomenon known a seasonally affective disorder (SAD). I certainly suffer in these darker days. I have often considered a sort of hibernation. But there is happily so much of celebration to enjoy and a huge amount of fun be gleaned from being active and engaging with life at this time of year. There is no way that I am going to be denied the chance of demonstrating my social being. What miss a party, even if it is a virtual effort! On Tuesday (21st December), just after 4pm, eight minutes (I think), we had the Winter Solstice, when everything gets sort of reset and our planet is tilted back, in it's alignment to capture the light again. For me that change was profound and significantly felt. Certainly worthy of celebration in itself...I felt revived and woke with enough energy, on Wednesday, to get up and on preparing for the next few days. Days, that I was, earlier, in fact dreading... Especially as this was to be my second Christmas Day, without my Dear Mother... So with her, very much, in my mind and an incredible determination, I managed to get through it... However, I did feel the second one has been even harder than the first., The reality of the passing of time has been highlighted. The big question is, does the passing of time actually heal the pain of grief?... Can that question ever be answered? Then the great comfort of happy memories come to the forefront of the mind. I have a huge volume of memories that really keep me going. The other thing that I wish to be able to achieve is my idea to lead others in the happy encouragement of creative pursuits during the dark winter days that I have referred to. To this end, I really had hoped, before now, to have established what I call, "art, craft, nibble and dribble" social evenings, thus bringing together like minded creative people. The idea being, to enjoy the making of good things, in an inclusive, supportive, social and communal atmosphere. This is something I wish to achieve, once we are socially permitted to be able to do so.

Oh some restless thoughts at mid-night, on The Feast of Stephen. KB.

7 December 2021

For host of reasons, I am finding the most vivid of memories of my childhood come rushing to the surface of my mind...In my last post here my memories of the happy little house where I was born. Warmth, laughter and excellent cooking were the features that prevailed there and, of course, got taken to our next home. In these minds eye reruns it seems every frame is filled with people...our family and friends. The big dining table in the living room, was always set for "the extra guest" or more, and the places always filled.

The meals in our home were well planned and expertly cooked by our mother. She had studied dietetics and nutrition, in Glasgow. Everything she did was well managed. Back in those early days, the 1960s, I remember, the meals related very much to shopping trips and the supply and availability of items of food. The week was punctuated by the trip or trips to town.

Tuesday was very important as it was Family Allowance Day, so that was the main food shopping day of the week. There was a regular and frequently used bus service, at the end of the road and we were very lucky as our family had use of a car. Our mother had passed her driving test just before her eldest child was born. She would often comment that this gave her a great sense freedom and confidence...She was to enjoy driving until she suffered a stroke, in February 1994, less than a year after the death of our father and granny (her mother)...Some days she would have the use of the car, driving our father to his work and then being able to get about all day. I remember from times not at school, Tuesday mornings involved a lot of queuing. First at the Post Office, in Francis Street, to collect the essential Family Allowance, lots of women met here every week, and then followed the same pattern down the street. To queue again in W. J. MacDonald's, "Willie John the Butchers", which usually followed the Post Office. Here our mother purchased enough meat and dairy produce to provide several meals. As I explained in an earlier description we did not have a croft or life stock, so we were rather deplete in the experience of such fundamental aspects of our rural life, though we did have hens that provided a wonderful daily supply of eggs. Butcher shops, in the 1960s were still literally raw places, with blood dripping animal carcasses hanging on meat hooks, from wall mounted rails. The floor covered in saw dust. They were none the less clean. "Willie John's", has been transformed over the yeas, but it is still a great local shop now in different ownership. We still go there.

Now I vividly remember Willie John MacDonald himself, indeed a substantial man in every way, he was very fond of my Dear Mother. They always quoted Robert Burns poetry to each other when he served her. I remember he wore a brown overall coat, under his blue and white striped apron.

A quick dart across the then two way traffic of Francis Street, got us to Hugh Matheson's, or Forsythe's, baker and grocer emporium. Here before the time of pre-packaging everything was slice cut or scale measured. Such shops actually smelt genuinely and beautifully of fresh product, rarely found in the vacuum packed era of today.

Further along, in Point Street, there was another such shop, Malcolm MacLean's, "Calum Sgiathanach", baker and grocer, later known as The Stag Baker's, after it's bakery relocated, to Stag Road, in late 1960s or early 1970s. Their shop in Point Street fascinated me as a child, as right throughout the year it had twisting tinsel decorations hanging from the ceiling. I was also aware of multi coloured glass in the doors and windows.

Because she baked herself, shop bought cakes were not ever on our mother's list. The only exception was if she spotted a special variety called "Kunsel"(?) cakes, rich chocolate confections, which I have not seen for decades. There would of course be purchase visits to many of the other shops in the town and we were well served by traveling shops and vans. But Tuesday morning established itself as the practical time for the main shopping for food.

29 November 2021

As a person intent on establishing multiple layers of positivity, for survival and certainly one who thrives on maximum intensity of day light. For me, the month of November has always been most challenging. As we all know, the last four weeks have been a constant continual of dark, dismal, wind and rain, hardly any day light and needed a special distraction, to generate cheer. For once drifting back in time was a bright option...My memories are genuine and clear. Mine, was a happy childhood, our home a pleasant retreat and sanctuary indeed.... to which, we often brought school friends back, to share the fresh home baking, and then tea table always set with extra places. Our first house, was a typical single storey "Board of Agriculture", croft house, though we had no croft and barely enough land to hang a line of washing at the back. The front, had a rocky terrain due to the remains of a black house. Nothing much grew there, and it was a dangerous place to play football, too dangerous for me and possibly explains why I never enjoyed that sport! Inside we had our living room, with its large dining table, and the solid fuel stove from which the hot water and heating was generated. The room at the other end of the house was the bedroom for the four of us boys. With it's double bed and bunk beds. To the rear was the other bedroom or more like "roombed", a very small space for our parents. The kitchen and bathroom, extended at the back. The kitchen was really too small for the whole family to sit to a meal, but it was nonetheless lively. A place where wonderful food and fabulous baking was created several times a day. We had a large glass porch at the front, where the light was left on every night, the font door never locked and the phone in the "lobby", was the only one at that end of our village and available for our neighbours to use day and night.

Happy as we were in our little whitewashed house, in Lower Sandwick our family had literally outgrown it. When I was eleven, we moved to an all together much larger house, a home customized for our family's requirements and architect designed. We now each had a bedroom of our own, but it took a few years before we actually settled into bedrooms of our own. Preferring to share with another brother.

Some memories of the little house where I was born. KB

23 October 2021

Positivity being what it is, I took myself in from the back garden - my hide away space - yesterday afternoon, to make two phone calls to two long established family friends. My maternal granny often said, that when people come to mind, it is a sign to make contact with them. That is exactly what I did, and found them both to be doing fine, considering everything. The second person I called, spoke briefly and asked to call me back, I suggested after it started to get dark. Thus ensuring a little more time digging and tidying, in those brief moments of autumnal sun and day light. In conversation it was mentioned that there had been an item of news earlier, that I would be interested in...I most certainly was. Indeed I am delighted to hear the outcome of the long awaited deliberations of the SOBC (Strategic Outline Business Case), on the future of the twice fire ravaged Glasgow School of Art. As announced by Professor Penny Macbeth, The Director of The Glasgow School of Art. Thankfully it finds in favour of a faithful reinstatement of architect Charles Rennie Mackintosh's iconic building. This news certainly lifted my spirit and has fended off any deflated feeling with the storm that is thrashing us here at the moment. The idea that the place that inspired so many of us fortunate enough to pass through those magic swing doors at the top of it's sweeping entrance steps, can actually rise again is wonderful on many levels. It gives back the opportunity to inspire future artists and designers of every discipline, from every corner of the world... It gives other opportunities for creative skills and expertise in traditional building techniques, and training, and employment... It gives back a unique building to our country and the wider world... But it certainly and most of ALL gives back the Great City of Glasgow - my own adopted home for almost forty years - and its wonderful people, back the special building and place that they were most proud of. Their sadness and concern at it's two devastating fires, and their generosity and contribution to it's repair was outstanding and overwhelming. This is good news and the outcome we had hoped for. KB

9 October 2021

One of the most rewarding greetings a person can give or receive...is..."you are looking good". No, not..."you are good looking", no doubt, that could lead to a number of misinterpretations. But "you are looking good", applies a most positive feeling to meeting someone, and can, I think, be a life line when a bit of the old"feel good factor" is required. Now, I experienced this lovely feeling on Thursday morning (7th October 2021). There I was amidst a time of quiet reflection, going through the motions of tidying the kitchen, when a particular cousin came into my mind. She had earlier, in the week, sent me a message to say that she had returned home to the island, last Saturday, after a few weeks away, and that she was looking forward to see me very soon... Now there are some people in the world who simply sparkle, brighten and illuminate, this cousin of mine is such a person. My granny was, my aunties and my mother were all like this. Indeed the women in the family, are just special So as I was pondering, how soon our next get together was going to be...the door bell rang...and there she was. This was the energizing force I was in need of, it certainly be a time of, fun yarns and good ideas and inspiration. I gently ignored her phrase, that she was "oh not able to stay", but I beckoned her to come through, to sit and have a cuppa. And then she told me..."Kenneth"..."you are looking good"... That was the most wonderfully uplifting thing that anyone could have said to me on that particular morning. It was so good to hear, even if perhaps, there was some room for improvement, in every aspect of my appearance!. My feel good factor was achieved, and I felt healthier and re-charged, in an instant. I was, at once "go-getter", and "positivity-personified".

When my dynamic cousin went off, I thought I must, now, apply the positivity that I now felt, to things that I needed to do and have been wanting to do, for a while. The obvious application of all this idea of looking good, is to be feeling good, as well... I imagine there is a connection. So where can I start and what actually needs the most benefit from a blast of such positive energy. Apart from health and fitness, it will be my surroundings and spaces, more specifically my house and garden. As I focus on the last quarter of the year, I wish try out these theories. With any luck my full being will benefit, and the process will be uplifting and enjoyable.

Some thoughts on positivity, to welcome day break - however dull

Saturday 9th October 2021. KB

7 October 2021

Well, I wish to thank everyone for all the kind responses and comments, to my post, of the day before yesterday, the 5th October 2021, which was accompanied by a very special photograph of my Dear Mother, the late Barbara Ena Burns. I was delighted to share this image of her in happier times, it is a picture that really does capture all her positivity and joy of living and love for the many people she enjoyed meeting in the course of her life. It is a picture that I look at as often as I can, to remind me of the important purpose of carrying on with life, whatever it presents.

I also enjoy the people I meet in the course of my life. I have spent some time since sending my post first of all in quiet reflection, at the exact moment of the first anniversary of her passing...07.47am 6th October 2021 - day break, which became a symbolic and special time for both of us, as it welcomed a new beginning for a new day, with all that that entailed. This now a most poignant moment for me...I have also enjoyed reading the kind and well thought and lovely messages, people sent. All this helped and guided me through what was a truly sad day. The first anniversary has now passed, and time is swiftly carrying me another stage of life... Thank you ALL X

5 October 2021

Exactly a year ago at about this time, on 5th October 2020, I wrote here that my Dear Mother's life was drawing to it's conclusion. She had drifted in and out of little sleeps all that afternoon and right then was beautifully in a gainful sleep, enough for me to slip away, from her side, to do some wee chores and take a moment in front of my screen, in the next room.

I shared some of the special memories of her teaching us the importance of sharing love and the fact that love does not divide or diminish, rather it expands and multiplies.

The idea that I was about to lose her and ALL the support, and love she gave, was overwhelming... My role as her Primary Carer was about to come to an end. I was so very sad... She had earlier asked me to promise her not to be "too sad". As she put it, "...Kenneth, please do not waste too much time being sad, when I am no longer here...You have much to get on and do, so do these things for me. Be the happy and positive person I showed you to be. Remember time is so very important"... I did promise, to do as she asked me. Her wisdom had successfully guided me through my life and I had much to refer to. I do find honouring this promise has been very hard to do...I am sadder than I can ever express...I am indeed overwhelmed and my grief is still very raw.

Now I wish to share a very special picture of my Dear Mother, Barbara Ena Burns. It captures and conveys much of the essence of her being. A beautiful and happy person. I remember it was taken on Sunday 12th of July 2009, we were enjoying a tour of the Southern Islands of the Outer Hebrides. Her idea, to sort of kick start my painting career, without delay, after I had just become redundant from a dull job tutoring in the West End of Glasgow. Earlier that Sunday we enjoyed the Castle Bay spectacle of "The Blessing of the Boats", and we were awaiting the start of the accompanying ceilidh, hosted by the wonderful local band The Vatersay Boys, in the Castle Bay School Hall. In the meantime we went to watch the ferry call at the pier and wave to a friend of ours sailing on from Oban to Lochboisdale. The photograph was taken by the friend from the deck. I love it and wish I could really enlarge it, as it reminds me of how she was in happier times and indeed how I see her in my mind. She was my guide and support...her legacy will continue. I loved her so much...RIP, my Dear Mother.

1 October 2021

 

So at last, yesterday, together one of my earliest school friends and I, ventured off to try out our "entitlement cards" or bus passes. A day trip from Stornoway to Tarbert, never minding the wind and rain, "Statler" and "Waldorf" were intent on having a fun time. Public transport is a great means of having a relaxing time free from the responsibilities of where to park one's own private transport. Sitting back and delegating the driving to a professional is something many more of us ought to do. We were the only two on that first journey of the day, there is a very good service with five from each place each day except Sunday. The journey lasts an hour, and it travels through the most awesome and majestic of the Hebridean landscapes. Being on a luxurious coach, passengers are comfortably mounted at a much higher vantage than those in cars and the spectacular views can be seen to best effect, even with the wind and rain. The fact that the steep, up and over, An Cliseam road takes the traveler from one side to the other of this great oceanic rock, goes almost unnoticed. We arrived in Ard Asaig, West Loch Tarbert just less than an hour after leaving Stornoway and the in next few minutes entered the main drag of Tarbert. Currently the whole place is undergoing a transformation with a total reconstructed the Ferry Terminal. I approve very much of such developments, and look forward to seeing it all progress. I also hope that existing features of this unique and ancient landfall can be conserved and retained. My favourite being the Tarbert Sores, which have a wonderfully Viking air about them. In past visits I would make a special pilgrimage to this characterful emporium to purchase an item of chandlery or hardware. (Now, for further explaination, this is Tarbert's equivelent of Glasgow, West End's old GLR Stores, that once thrived at Caledonian Mansions, Great Western Road). Though sadly the tall timber store in Tarbert is closed at the moment and looking very sad and vulnerable. I hope it will be back!

We disembarked into the wet Tarbert morning, and were soon making our route to The Isle Harris Distillery, via the activity of the ferry traffic. Just inside the entrance to the distillery a welcoming log fire is burning. I make one or two purchases, advance Christmas presents. But their cafe is still closed, a victim of the Covid restrictions. Back out into the rain, along to the Tarbert hub, and to the former First Fruits, now Waterside Cafe. A welcome late breakfast, followed by a visit to a Craft FaIr, in the Community Hall. We hadn't known about this and I made more purchases here. Including a splendid Harris Tweed waistcoat, which was made in Lewis of a patch work of bright colours and designs. It put me in mind of the large painting, of one of my favourite beaches I have just finished. Then we went to The Hotel Hebrides, in the hope of lunch and a libation, but we could only get the latter, the kitchen only doing dinners from 5.30pm. After a time watching Tarbert Central pass bye, we took advantage of a brief break in the deluge. Up along Main Street, to the War Memorial, then on to my favourite Hebridean hostelry The Harris Hotel. Many years ago this was the ultimate destination of our family day trips, a place of great traditional style and fine food. Yesterday, my friend and I arrived rather drenched and hoping for a warming lunch. We were not disappointed, and though lunches had just finished, we were offered fine bowls of soup, and we both opted for the Cullen Skink. A welcome warm place to hang our soggy jackets was provided. I resolved that a return visit here and possibly a weekend stay in this lovely old hotel may do much to recharge me, at the other end of the winter.

Now, Statler and Waldorf did not re-embark aboard the bus back to Stornoway. One of the friends, (not used to the marvels of public transport), got fearful that the bus was either running late or not running at all! Imagine being stuck. Anyway a kind offer of a lift was gratefully accepted and back to Stornoway, we all went. So, in conclusion of a day out, and away from the usual, that was not in honour of any celebration, we decided to go to The Crown Hotel's, Harbour View, for our evening meal, and excellent it was.

We had made the most of the last day of September and indeed got a flavour of the enjoyment to be had as Sixty Year Olds, utilizing the gift of our Entitlement Cards.

28 September 2021

 As we shift from the bright warmer season into the darker colder times, it never fails to amaze me how rapid and uncompromising the transition is in this part of the world. Autumns, here in the Hebrides, seem to be so short and quickly give way to lengthy winters. But there is still the drama of that last blast of colour, and every time of year host aspects that inspire. Reminding us of the continuing cycle of life.

Since the end of last week, I am now in a sort of "Winter Recess", my little Bed and Breakfast business had it's last paying guests. No sooner has one aspect concluded than the other must begin, in cycle of the hospitality business. Now is the beginning of preparation for next year, and I need to be optimistic that it will be a positive challenge. My "work balance", the Bed and Breakfast and the art work, had a very gentle outing his summer. Things were too spaced out, slow and I want to have more to do. To be busy and fully occupied are the best means of distracting from, such as, the ongoing sadness of bereavement...Next week marks the first anniversary of my Dear Mother's passing.

The passage of time, fascinates me. I sometimes feel time is elastic and it speeds up or slows down without logic. I want and need more of it, but really need to learn how to manage it better and apportion it more wisely. Another balance in my life is the work and social balance. As an artist my work, drawing and painting, is conducted in solitude, but I have a strong interactive social personality. Meeting new people, in my other work, the B and B addresses a large part of my social being. Connecting and re-connecting with people I know, friends and family is vital to my existence.

Sometimes wonderful moments present themselves. Over the last couple of days I have delighted in reconnecting with a couple of my friends from art school. One whom I haven't seen for nearly forty years. People may age and lives may alter in the passing of time, but personalities remain as permanent, beacons in the great sea of friendship. In a world of change and time of uncertainty it is reassuring to know and learn that the people and places we experience in the course of our lives remain within us and stay in our memory. It was such fun to recall others from our early lives at the Glasgow School of Art. These are strong, fond and special memories and it so good to share and re-connect. KB

10 August 2021

Back in May, I put some of my current paintings up, for view, and the positive feedback from that endeavour nurtured a focus on developing some more ideas. Such activity has been a vital means of lifting my spirits and preventing much overwhelming emotion, this summer. As I reflect, take stock, my memory and flashbacks call to last summer... Oh, an altogether different time for me... The sad outcome was inevitable... Drifting back to the present season, it is so reassuring to be able to simply explore the delights of colour ideas or composition and shapes in "en plein air" sketches, for much larger paintings. There I am in my prime element, sort of convincing my self that there is a way of coping with the pain of one's grieve... But sadly no... Not yet... My raw grief... It is still there... Then, of course, I am aware that all around us there so many people struggling to come to terms with the brutal reality of losing a loved one. Such shared experience brings people together.

We still face worrying times and a genuinely uncertain future, despite the wishful thinking that punctuates all news broadcasts. Humour that is the fundamental means that people deploy to address such times of crisis and uncertainty, makes no appearance. Even poor leadership get the butt end of jokes. However this pandemic period we are existing in simply does not engender any laughter or light reference at all. How on earth could it? Then there are the related issues and confusion. Much as I would welcome a trip off my beloved island - it is over eighteen months since I ventured anywhere - But no, I am going to stay as close to my own home as I can be, until I feel it is safe to stray back to the wonderful urban worlds. A couple of days ago I received my bus pass, that little perk of turning sixty! I have already been planning it's use around the island. A very local "staycation", never straying very far from my base.

Now, to end on a positive note, of uncharacteristic "own trumpet blowing", I must flash up the wonderful "MI FHEIN IS MACKINTOSH/ART ON FIRE, programme about the once great Glasgow School of Art, that is being broadcast on BBC ALBA, on Monday night (9th August 2021), at 9pm. It will be available on the iPlayer for 30 days after the broadcast. This most emotional programme was directed by Calum Angus MacKay. I was delighted to have been invited, among other former students from the islands, to make my contribution to it. I have been rather involved in the campaign to rebuilt this outstanding building, since the second ripping flames were put out, on 15/16 June 2018. This is the very beautiful and special formative place where so many of us grow and developed as creative people. It was quite simply a most magical place, and this programme gives a flavour of what it still means to us. I was privileged to have a full preview yesterday afternoon (Wednesday 4th August). I am sure it will impress everyone who sees it. I hope many of you will take the opportunity to experience this unique presentation, of the very fond and most personal expressions and regards for this greatly loved institution.

KB

10 August 2021

 Well, it is so very odd to see yourself on a television screen. There, I was, last night, speaking with an authority, my own vivid memories of a much loved space. I was both honoured and delighted to make my contribution to the brilliant and beautifully crafted documentary 'Mi Fhein is Mackintosh/Art on Fire', directed by Lewis filmmaker, Calum Angus MacKay, which was broadcast on BBC Alba, last night. A credit to all involved with its production.

The master stroke here was to have a group of GSA Alumni, former and current students from the islands, relate their personal, special and highly emotional feelings for the Glasgow School of Art. The most magical place, known affectionately as 'The Mack', designed by architect, artist and designer Charles Rennie Macintosh, where their creative imaginations were to grow and develop. Each account, in this documentary, is detailed and articulate, each is beautifully visual, as one might expect from individuals with keen artistic senses. Certainly a unique picture emerges of a place greatly loved, and now sadly missed, by all fortunate to have studied there. The interest in rebuilding this iconic gem of architecture remains strong and it is potentially huge. This could well be the beginning of a positive and pro-active campaign to deliver the many questions, long since requiring answers. This would be an excellent outcome from the film.

For my own part, I have already been involved in some of the discussion to date, many of my feelings and opinions have been voiced and written. My online comments in the immediate aftermath of the second fire, on Friday 15th June 2018, formed a personal viewpoint which was published on the STV online news page, on Monday 18th June 2018. That was a great honour, the article was accompanied by two photographs of me, as a nineteen year old, in the ' Henrun' loggia, on the top floor of 'The Mack', and the article was indeed the start of the memories that were flooding into my mind. I do regret that, for this film, I was not yet confident enough to let my memory flow to camera in Gaelic. Reviving any ability in Gaelic, has been high on my 'to do'/'must do' list since I returned to live on the island, in January 2017.

13 May 2021

I am sharing my Kenneth Burns Artworks website, to spread my recent selection of works around. These pictures are small - indeed pocket sized, extracted form a pile of little sketchbooks, which I use as journals every day. Drawing, the action of making an initial mark of expression, and pulling it, and pushing it, and generally manipulating it, to create a line, or tone, or a shadow, and then further moving it around to make a satisfying or recognizable image is so vitally important to me. I simply love drawing. I do believe that drawing is the earliest and most fundamental means of human expression. Writing evolved from ancient hieroglyphs, which were in fact drawings, stylized depictions. So making marks, drawing and writing are all means of expressing ideas. Some drawings can be very complicated and sophisticated, these explain detailed designs of our, buildings, crafts, vessels or machines. Drawings are tools of our civilization. I like to describe how my paintings evolve from simple quick sketches, even doodles, that initially plot an idea, or a visual stimuli that captures my interest. I like to have drawing and painting materials with me and close to hand, at all times. Folk frequently ask me if I... am painting at the moment...? I am sure they mean painting a large piece of work. The answer to this is that I am constantly envisaging paintings, and there is always a painting on the go at some stage of completion. For me the fun element of the work is the discovery of a location of interest and then the exploration of getting to know it and learning all about it. Certain special locations find me returning, over and over there is always a new aspect to discover.

This collection of little drawings and paintings, are the elements of the progression and development of much larger pieces. I call them my working drawings, though one or two can stand for themselves as complete works. I brought this collection together in a response to the kind suggestion of some of my dear and valued friends, whose support has carried me through a very sad year. You will know who you are and I hope how highly I regard you all.

I hope those of you have not yet seen these drawings, sketches and little paintings, will like what you see. KB May 2021

On turning 60

 

Turning Sixty. What is the real significance of this age.

So what happened, actually it sort of crept up on me... I turned round and... there...I'm Sixty, already. The 6th of May my birthday, and like many others, the date that I marked events and assessed where I was at and where I heading. It was right on me at last. I have been aware, so much of life has rushed past and prior to this birthday, I was actually enjoying the challenges and aspects of life that we think will go on forever. Who really does the arithmetic of ageing, when just getting on with living is a natural progress. But it wasn't a dread of reaching this age, that caused me any anxiety, we all learn in early formative years that the things we dread most often prove to be of little concern, after all. It was the fact that, for once, I had very little knowledge or idea of quite how I was going to even mark the day let alone celebrate my sixtieth birthday. A significant moment for reflection and self appraisal. Most important was another mile stone and major first happening. This was my first birthday without the supportive love of my Dear Mother, and I suddenly felt overwhelmingly vulnerable. I knew that there would be many moments of very strong emotions. Then the wonderful kindness of people I value as friends and family began to come through. I stopped looking back and feeling sorry for myself, this was always a happy day, in my life, full of fun, laughter and the good things of life. It was, like all birthdays a celebration of living. Exactly what I had been brought up, by my late parents, to believe. The day was most enjoyable, even if the weather was being awkward and unlike spring. I got lovely messages and cards from kind people, and I began to really understand the importance of maturing and enjoying the beautiful aspects of life and the benefits of age. Life must be shared and enjoyed with other people.

KB, in reflection of my 60th birthday.

22 February 2021

I am in the process of creating a "new body"of art work, mostly drawings and paintings, inspired by the simply awesome landscape that surrounds me and stimulates my thoughts, hopes and ideas... There is indeed still life beyond the surreal situation, of being locked down in the oppressive restrictions of isolation and social distance. Caused by this hateful pandemic! Self motivation and a clear focus, will I hope assist me in his endeavour, to rise above sadness and see through the tears. Though this has been a time of challenging personal grief and, of course, an overwhelmingly depressing and sorrowful period for the whole world. I feel we might all need to relearn or revive our social interactive skills. As an artist, I am no stranger to solitude or isolation, the very work I do is carried out in a private lone space my "studio". But my personality and natural being thrive on social interaction, I need people and I am stretching my patience, like so many others. But there is a light on the horizon, I got my Covid 19 vaccine last Saturday, and Spring will be starting next Saturday. So good to be alive. KB

Holocaust Memorial Day

 

Today, the 27th January 2021, is Holocaust Memorial Day, the 76th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz, a symbolic moment whose date now serves as the annual commemoration of the Holocaust. Each year it becomes more crucial for us ALL to remember what happened, in these death camps, because as time passes the number of survivors becomes fewer... The importance of commemorating such a huge event in the human experience is to learn vital lessons of love and unity and prevent the ignorance and evil that cause such murder and genocide...We ALL need to consider and reflect on the issues.

We certainly seem to be surrounded with sorrow, and would that that were not true. People refer to this current era of pandemic trauma as "strange times" or "the Covid crisis", and there is a lot of frustrated desire resume a conception of normality. Now is that the normality that existed over a year ago, before we learned of this Coronavirus (?). Sadly, horrendous things have happened over the past year. The awful reality of over 100,000 lost lives... it is unbearable enough to grieve the loss of one loved one. Then the circumstances of dying with this virus, the lack of dignity and the isolation, a total horror... No, we cannot go back, we have collectively suffered too much, and must soon begin the process of healing.

On a very personal level these recent weeks living in this new order of redefined social restrictions has been extremely challenging. I enjoy the company of other people, the very notion of "social distancing" is a clumsy oxymoron. So at a time when, in raw bereavement and in real need of beloved company, I am actually in extreme retreat and self isolation. So how does one approach this in a sane and positive way? Well...I did two things at the beginning of the month to "manage" the situation. The first was to limit the need for venturing out for food shopping, which has the spin-off benefit of requiring advance planning of meals and menus, and a subtle control of the old diet. The second thing is more enjoyable, it involves taking the calendar or diary, and marking of all the special events, anniversaries and occasions and actually celebrating or marking them in your own special or private way. So for example a friend or relative is having a birthday, sadly you cannot meet up or party, so send them a letter, email, card or give them a special telephone call. Recently on what would have been the birthday of a very dear friend who sadly passed away three years ago, I went for an appropriate walk and did a little sketch in special honour of that person. In such ways I intend to make re-connections with people, places and events past and present.

This is the time of year, to "make new beginnings", indeed round about this time in January, ancient civilizations believed it to be an important moment in the natural cycle of life - the time when the sap begins to rise in the trees. This is when trees, shrubs and bushes begin to go into bud and a light green aura seems to glow. The day light hours are getting longer and I long to get out into the fresh air and start turning the soil and planting the earth. There is a future on our horizon...

3 January 2021

 

I would like to wish everyone, A Happy New Year. Let us hope that our situation steadily improves as the days get longer and spring replaces winter. This has certainly been an unprecedented festive season for us ALL, as the ongoing challenges of the restrictions to combat the coronavirus pandemic bite into our lives, in every way. We have become increasingly weary of the frightening gloom of the daily news, and we are constantly aware that our whole life psyche must require adapting and changing in order to accommodate yet another viral threat. Indeed over the last few days, there has been much reference to the awfulness of the year just past, but surely a year is only a measurement of time and not in itself the cause of good or bad. In the earlier months of 2020 the weather, for instance, was actually quite pleasant. Think how truly horrible the first Lockdown would have been, were we to have had to queue, for our food shopping, out in the cold, wet and wind. It was the awfulness of the pandemic itself that was so totally unbearable...people dying and the feeling of helplessness. It was, all of that, that we wanted away from. Sadly the change over to 2021 has not been the sudden switching on of a light. No, it is going to take a long time, to resolve things and recover. Of course for this very reason, the usual fire of seasonal optimism and expectation, was largely extinguished this time round. While we must accept and go along with the restrictions, it is absolutely vital, we must do whatever it takes not to let ourselves or people we know and care about become lonely or stranded in isolation. Keeping contact with each other by telephone or on social media, is a life line to many people.

Now being very much a "people person", I certainly did miss all the old traditions that accompany the happy socializing, of our festive season. These traditions relating to the celebration of the new year are very ancient and refer to the natural cycle of life. It was symbolic that, from the dying embers of the old year's fire, emerged the sparks to ignite the bright flames of the new year's fire. It was deemed essential and therefore a good omen to keep the fire, if lite, burning from one year to the next. Hence the origins of the carrying of coal from one house to another, at "Hogmany". I always associate this time of year with huge crackling fires, great food, wonderful company, with lots of music and laughter. In our home the fire was very much at the centre everything. This year there was no enthusiasm to have a living fire burning. Instead I had two very large church candles burning near the fireplace and at the changing of the year, "The Bells", I lite fresh candles from the old ones. But this evoked an overwhelming and unexpected flood of emotion of what had passed and in effect was being left in 2020. This is also the traditional time to remember people, to forgive and atone, and to tidy accounts and make payments. Not to bring anything that are unresolved, forward into the start of the new year is a universal feature of a new year celebration.

So far three dawns have heralded fine crisp days, with amber clouded skies of blue above and a glistening frosty ground. I gingerly tread cautious steps on my walk along the shore. The gentle action of the tide is a natural calming and reassuring essence. With my mind and emotions thus stimulated I am ready to face the day. At the start of a year I have always tried to put into place some sort of "resolution" or thumb nail proposal for the longer hours of day light. I need and want to immerse myself in my garden. Getting close to that cycle of nature, planting things, nurturing them and encouraging them grow can enrich anyone's life, and it does. There is something very wonderful about getting the soil of the Earth, under your fingernails. I must be a crofter after all! Let us hope, that as we carry forward the current challenges we will do so with spirits raised by brighter and stimulating days. Staying safe and staying healthy.

Some thoughts on the New Year, Sunday 3rd January 2021. KB.